


malecfanfic   cmbyn   2018

by Malec_fanfic



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: CMBYN - Freeform, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Peaches - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 08:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17382797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_fanfic/pseuds/Malec_fanfic
Summary: (This is the basic story of Call Me By Your Name but with Malec and other Shadowhunters characters)Magnus usually isn´t interested in the students his Professor Father bring with him to Indonesia in his holidays, but this one is different. His name is Alec and he´s an American. One that will turn the world of young Magnus and rock his feelings, especially because he has to leave again.(It has not the same ending as the cmbyn movie)Note: This is a fanfic first posted on Instagram @malec_fanfic (now @angeldrw) in 2018, please excuse some mistakes I made back then. <3





	malecfanfic   cmbyn   2018

“Magnus!” He heard the sweet but imperious voice of his mother, speaking in Indonesian. “Get up, your father will be back from the train station soon! You know you have to prepare your room!” Magnus blinked lost, blinded by the yellow sunlight. He remembered he´d waken up earlier this morning, started to read and then fallen asleep again, he was laying on the book, his body creased some pages. “Magnus? Are you listening?” Now she was standing in the door frame and talked to him while fixing her long black hair in a bun. “Yea, yes, just few seconds.” “I hope so.” Yawning Magnus got up, searched for a shirt and pants he could put on and thenstarted to clean his room, mostly carrying books and writing stuff to the smaller room next door. The housemaid would change the sheets later. “Magnus!Look, they arrived!” Clarissa, a girl he met during last year and that was now very close to him, entered his room and pointed to the window. Magnus followed her and both watched the car that parked near the front door below them. First his father appeared, then his student. Mr. Bane was a professor for history and archeology with Indonesian origin at a university in England. That´s why he met Magnus mother on one of his Indonesian excursions, married her and then moved together back to the US. Nevertheless they spend their summer in his mother´s birth land every year, so she could met her family there and his father had time for more expeditions and his research work, for what he always invited a few interested students from all over the world. This time it was just one, from America. He was a tall young man with raven, nearly black wavy hair and- “More handsome than the two last year, right?” Clarissa giggled. “How old is he, what do you think?” “My father said about twenty-five.” Magnus answered, not taking his eyes off this man. “Well, eight years difference are acceptable for me.” She talked about herself, of course, making Magnus jokingly jealous on purpose. Last summer they had kissed, but not this one yet. “Hey you two,” His mother was back again. “Don´t you think it´s more polite if you say hello?!” “Yea, sure.” He let Clarissa alone to follow her downstairs. “Ah great you´re here, this is my son Magnus!” Professor Bane introduced them, smiling, as always. “And that´s Alexander Lightwood, he will stay the next six weeks with us.” “Alec.” The man smirked slightly and shook his hand with a strong squeeze while Magnus´ gaze slipped down to his short pants. “Magnus, be gentle and show him his room.” “Sure.” He took Alec´s bags without any other commands and led him through the corridors. On the stairs they met Clarissa who welcomed Alec with a kiss on both cheeks, whereupon he gave her the same slight smirk. “That´s your room.” “It´s actually your room, right?” He asked and eyed up the shelves with Magnus´ books. “Yes, but I´ll stay in the one next door for your visit, so we have to share one bathroom that is connected to both rooms.” “Ok alright.” Alec just let drop his body on Magnus´ double bed and stretched his limbs, probably he was tired from the long travel, anyhow he didn´t look at Magnus anymore, just buried his face in the pillow. He was really very tall, his feet nearly touched he edge of the mattress. “Dinner´s ready soon.” Magnus added, but the man continued ignoring him, so he left before starring at him felt too awkward. `Strange arrogant American´ He thought. //

 

/// A little later one of the housemaids rang a bell, the sign that dinner was ready. Alertly Magnus waited to hear the wooden floor blanks next door creak, because they would if Alec stood up. They didn´t. Should he look for him? He would be hungry after his travel, it would just be his duty as a polite host to inform him. Hesitating Magnus got up and quietly opened the door, just to see Alec laying in the same position in which he had left him, limbs stretched, face in the pillow. Actually he looked pretty dead, only his thorax was moving calmly up and down. “Hey, didn´t you hear the bell? Dinner´s ready.” No answer from him. “Hello? Are you asleep?” Magnus recognized how stupid the question was after he said it, he was nearly glad Alec didn´t hear him. But after he tried it a third time, he got angry, nevertheless touching him didn´t seem appropriate, so he just went to his book shelve near the bed, took a thick lexicon and let it drop on the floor. Luckily the bang made the guy startle, groaning he sat up, visibly surprised to see Magnus near him. “Hey, what, what´s the matter?” “We´re being called for dinner.” “Oh yea, err…excuse myself at your mother, I´ll just sleep.” “Sure.” God why had Magnus disgraced himself by caring so much about him when he didn´t even want to eat with his hosts? “And thank you for your room.” Oh the American could actually be nice. “You´re welcome…I think.” “Yea, then, later.” Alec answered with a sleeping-rough, husky voice and turned around.Later? Was this a real farewell formula? Oh Magnus disliked this American.//

 

/// “And? How do you like him?” His father asked while he turned over the next page of his morning newspaper and took his coffee pot. “I don´t know, the last ones were better I think.For example, he just says `later´ when he means good bye.” Mr. Bane just sighed jokingly.“Oh Magnus, we trained you to be a little more open minded, maybe that´s just what you say in America. His professor there recommended him and his work is really good for a student.” “Well, then at least you can get happy with him.” Magnus answered in the same tone. “Oh I´m happy with him, too, a really well educated man.” His mother added, gave him a kiss on his head and joined their breakfast table. “I think you should show him around, you could take the bikes.” Magnus shrugged his shoulders, but nodded. “Yea maybe.” “Hey, good morning,” Alec appeared in the sunlight outside on the terrace and Magnus quickly looked away, not to get blended by his…superiority. “Oh good morning Alexander, could you recover a bit from your travel?” “Yea, I slept very well.” He took the chair and the espresso Mr. Bane offered him. “Thank you very much, I really appreciate the opportunity to come here.” “You´re welcome.” “I could show you around, later.” Magnus tried to sound as casual as somehow possible and he was sure his ears blushed a little. The first buttons of Alec´s thin shirt were open, he could already see the light chest hair. “You should go with him.” His father said. “Magnus knows the village very well and we can start with the work after your tour.” “Ok great sure.”Alec winked at Magnus hiddenly, then took a sip from his coffee. Magnus felt uncomfortable in his presence. This guy was different, he seemed to make fun of Magnus´ shy looks and tried to catch his gaze whenever he could. Yet actually Magnus was not shy at all, except when Alec opened his mouth, then he got fuzzy and this strange feeling rumored in his stomach. He hadn´t ever reacted like this because of a man before, it made him anxious, maybe something wasn´t right with him anymore. ///

/Magnus had decided to just drive by bike around the village to the next bigger city, so he could show Alec some of the nature along the river without talking too much. It was a hot and steamy weather as always this time of the year, so he was indeed glad Alec had brought money to buy something to drink in a small café. Without asking he gave Magnus a glass, too, whereupon he had to admit that Alec wasn´t completely bad. “Usually you live near London, right? So what are you doing here the whole summer?” Alec asked once they sat on a little table near the street. “Oh just, reading…music or I go swimming. And my mother´s family and some friends I made are here, so it´s not that boring.” “Yea, understand. Must be great to have such a multicultural family. I´m trying to learn Indonesian, but it´s really hard.” Magnus liked his slight chuckling. “It´s easy if your mother refused speaking something else when you were a child. And your father a mix of English, French and Italian.” “Oh well, then you have to help me in public I think.” “Seperti yang kamumau.” //

 

// Later that day, after they were back, Magnus was sitting in his father´s big office and read his book while Alec and Mr. Bane talked about some archeologic reports. Actually it was not a real formal professor´s office but a room filled with literature, researching stuff and cozy sofas and his father didn´t care if Magnus spend his time there. Quite the opposite, he was glad Magnus was also interested in his work.“Son, do you come with us tomorrow? To help with the protocol for the excavation?” His father had turned around to him. “Maybe, actually Clarissa wanted to come over.”“Your girlfriend?” Alec asked completely out of sudden and Magnus was totally perplexed first. “Err…yes, kind of.” “Oh that´s new.” His father smirked and fixed his glasses while Alec just stayed silent. It wasn´t his thing at all, why he´d asked? Rumoring in his stomach was back, maybe he got really sick, so he excused himself and went to the wide living room where his piano was. Once Magnus had learned the basic skills, he played everything he could since his childhood, he even started to write his own melodies. Maybe after an hour of the tones echoing through the open house, Alec showed up in the doorframe and just watched him pressing the piano keys, while Magnus pretended not to recognized him. It was strange, his gaze stabbed Magnus´ back, he felt it wander up and down his spine. “What do you want?” Finally he couldn´t endure it any longer, turned around and looked at him. “Oh nothing, just listening. You´re pretty good.” Alec answered and came closer. “May I?” He pointed at the piano and Magnus just nodded and gave him some space near him because he didn´t know what else to do. Alec sat down and played the second part to Magnus´ previous melody. “You can play, too?” “Yea, I´ve learned it from my brother, Jace. Here,” He took Magnus´ hand and led it to the right keys. “Play those.” And started with the next one, a play Magnus knew, nevertheless he was so nervous, he confused the touches and already made a mistake at the beginning.“Hey, everything ok? Don´t you know it?” “No, no I do.” Magnus started playing and Alec joined in. They sat so close on the bench, Alec´s body warmth and his light cologne slopped over to Magnus and embraced him, making it hard to concentrate. Suddenly a bell rang. “That´s the sign we´re being called for dinner.” “Great, I´m hungry.” Alec smiled, got up and then quickly squeezed his shoulder before he left. Confused Magnus brushed over the spot he´d touched, but followed him. //

 

//Last night Alec had just slept without a break, but today Magnus heard him and his parents outside laughing all the time while he himself was reading inside. Well, Alec was a sympathetic intelligent man, of course they liked him. When he was finally in the bathroom, he woke Magnus up, who had fallen asleep on the book again. The walls were thin and the old water pipes loud, beside the door wasn´t completely closed, so Magnus could see his silhouette through a gap. Biting his lips, he pulled the blanket up to his nose and made himself little on the mattress while watching Alec´s outlines taking off his shirt. He shouldn´t do that, he should turn around and try to sleep, not starring at a half-naked man washing his face, but Magnus just couldn´t. The speed of his heartbeat increased and his body heated more up with every other second his gaze was stuck to this broad chest. Alec lifted his arms and his back muscles were moving and Magnus melted in his bed sheets. God, holy shit, he needed a glass of cold water, or better a bath tube filled with ice. It was kind of the same feeling he got while looking at Clary, but so much stronger and intense. He wanted to touch those shoulder, those abs, wanted to know how the light skin gave way under his fingers, but he also wanted Alec to touch him.Fuck, he felt like jerking off, fuck. Startled he turned around and squeezed his eyes shut, only a moment before he heard how Alec closed the door between the bath and Magnus´ room. Shit, had he recognized him? It was all dark, he hadn´t been able to see his arousal, had he?How should he ever face those steel blue eyes again?/

 

///Alec and Mr. Bane started their expedition early in the morning so it wasn´t that hard for Magnus to avoid them. He just got up late, had his breakfast and then welcomed Clary and her best friend Lydia. Nevertheless he couldn´t escape this young student, he also was the girls´ number one topic and especially Lydia seemed to have a crush on him. “Magnus you could introduce us, right? Where is he?” She asked with puppy eyes. “Yea sure, he´s with my Dad right now, but you´ll meet him when they come back.” “You don´t sound very excited about him.” Clary, who sat next to him on the sofa, said and fondled through his hair. “Well, he´s just another competitor with the girls.”Magnus chuckled with a mischievous wink. “As for me, you have no competitor!” ////

/ Her lips tasted good, light and somehow refreshing and she was good at kissing. Magnus liked Clary´s soft hands on his neck, she was gentle and allowed him to stroke up her waist, while he pressed her against the house wall. They just stood there hidden in the shadow of a tree, hugging, kissing, then she pulled back and smiled. “See you, ok?” “Yea, bye.” He answered and watched her leaving.That was what Magnus wanted, a girlfriend, a normal, nice relationship. He couldn´t understand his fantasies from last night anymore, it had been completely…weird, this man confused and distracted him from the really important things. Suddenly a car drove by, it was the one of his father and he saw Alec on the passenger seat. Magnus didn´t want to but he followed them to the terrace, it was lunchtime anyways. “Hey, successful expedition?” He asked his father once they all were sitting on the table. “Yes, we were hiking along the old excavations and ruins I showed you last week, but we could really needtwo other helping hands. Alexander took lots of notes.” `I surely won´t carry around his notes.´ Magnus thought. //

 

// A thing he liked best in Indonesia was the swimming. They had a huge garden with a stone rimmed pool in the middle, where Magnus spend most of the time he didn´t read or write. The contrast between the graceless hot sun that drove sweat drops down his back and the welcoming coldness in the pool was heaven.Sighing he closed his eyes, lay his head on his arms on the edge and let his body float in the water. Luckily he barely ever got sunburns and he was chuckling inside when he remembered Alec´s pale skin. He really had a problem here. “What are you thinking about?” When Magnus opened his eyes in surprise, Alec sat next to his face, his legs dangling in the water. Had he been too quiet for him to notice or was Magnus too drowsy? Well, at least Alec didn´t act as if he had noticed his starring from last night. “Nothing.” “You won´t tell me?” Alec asked, maybe with a cocky undertone, and slipped into the water, while Magnus tried to ignore the fact that he only wore shorts. “I won´t.” He just answered and dived also down, because he felt his cheeks getting red. “Why are you so dismissive? Did I do anything wrong?” Alec just stood there in the water and eyed him up. “No, I just don´t share my thoughts with everyone. I don´t open up to a stranger.” “Oh I understand.” He smiled slightly and blinked into the sunlight, it broke in his eyes. “Would you share your places with me then?” “My what?” “Your father told me you usually go swimming in the river, I think that´s much better than just in the pool. Would you show me where?” Magnus gulped, he didn´t really know what to answer. “N-now?” “I have time.” //

// Magnus´ place was a little in the jungle, there where the river meandered in endless bends between the trees, so they hid their bikes in the thicket and went the last part by foot. “You really know where we are going?” Alec asked and pushed some branches away, whereupon Magnus just gave him an annoyed look. Silly, impatient American, couldn´t he see the small trail Magnus´ feet had already made during the previous weeks? This guy shut only up when they finally arrived at the little lagoon without much stream. It was indeed beautiful. Christal clear, turquoise water flowed over flat stones into the pond, surrounded by the nature and sunlight. Suddenly Magnus felt a little uncomfortable, showing Alec this secret place was more intimate than he´d thought. He was alone in the forest with a nearly complete stranger, but it was too late now, so he just pulled his shirt over his head and slipped off the stone he was standing on, down into the water. Sighing, he felt how all the sweat from the hike in the blazing sound got washed away, then he heard a squeaky sound from behind him. Alec stood up to his knees in the water and shuddered. “What?” “It´s fucking cold!” “Well, it´s a river, no pool!” Magnus laughed. “But you wanted to come here, now just dive into it!” Finally Alec let go and joined him. “It´s wonderful, I really mean it, thank you for showing me.” Alec said and brushed his wet curls back. “You´re welcome.” //

// They lay in the soft grass, still in the clearing of the lagoon letting their shorts dry from the sun. Magnus looked away in the sky, because Alec was starring at him and he knew he was flushed, he knew he made a face, though he still wanted him to stare and even if it embarrassed him, Magnus wanted to keep starring at him, too. Slowly he opened his eyes and eventually turned his head to him. Alec lay there, leaning on an elbow, some waterdrops were still running down his chest. Magnus didn´t know why, but he smiled, it seemed like he was kind of happy, even if he wasn´t alone at his favorite place anymore. He also wasn´t this nervous in Alec´s presence right now, a special calmness had covered him, he didn´t mind Alec´s gaze on his face. Before he knew, Alec sidled up to him. He stared Magnus right in the face, as though he liked his face and wished to linger on it, to study it like one of his archeologic books. Then he touched Magnus´ nether lip with his finger and let it travel right and left and back right again and again, not letting go of his gaze. Magnus was frozen, but not afraid, Alec touching him like this felt…good. He slightly opened his mouth, but Alec didn´t stop, he caressed along his chin, his jawline. Still without words, Magnus got a little up, so they were at the same height, facing each other. They were so close, their noses almost met, Magnus got lost in the blue of his eyes and without thinking he licked over Alec´s lips and then just kissed him. Magnus knew how to kiss and he´d never expected it would be different with a man, but it was so different because it was with Alec. It were his lips he sank into, his hand that brushed over his neck, his manly scent that rose into his nose. They pulled back and Magnus recognized only now how totally out of rhythm his breath was, but didn´t matter, he couldn´t endure the loss of warmth on his lips very long anyways. Only led by his lust, Magnus climbed half on top of him, trying to savor all the impressions of Alec´s body while kissing him more roughly and deeper. He begged for Alec´s mouth to let his tongue in and bit and licked him thankful when he did. This moment, he would have done everything to get more, but at some point Alec just put his hand on his chest and pushed him back while shaking his head.“No, no, don´t.” First Magnus didn´t know what happened and looked confused and taken back while Alec got up and wore his shirt. “Let´s don´t mess thing up.” Alec said and went in the direction from which they had come. Magnus lips were still prickling and slightly swollen. What should he feel, Magnus didn´t know. He just felt hurt.//

 

//Following days were pure torture for Magnus. He only got up when Alec was already busy with his father and went to bed first of all, avoiding everyone. He even cancelled his dates with Clarissa and felt really bad for it, but he couldn´t help. Alec´s rejection had hit him harder than expected, every time he thought about him, he felt immediately the strong hand that pushed him back at his chest and disconnected their lips. The words echoed in his head, “No, let´s don´t mess things up.” He hadn´t even given him time to pout or to ask for a proper explanation, Magnus felt dumb and used and like a pitiful child. What had he thought of that? Kissing a man that was seven years older and taller and so much more handsome, what had gone into him? He liked girls, he was together with one, he wasn´t one of those strange, girly acting, poofy guys, he didn´t want to be. And Alec certainly not, too. He must have been disgusted by feeling a boy´s lips and shaking hands on his body. Magus had destroyed everything with his greenness. Since then he´d met Alec twice, one time in the bathroom, one time at dinner, but Magnus had looked down and Alec didn´t say anything either. His silence literally screamed at him, nevertheless he still missed something. The rough blue ocean that Alec´s eyes contained, the slight smirk when he saw Magnus for the first time, something tightened inside him when he remembered it. Right now he sat on the floor with legs drawn up, leaning against his bed, his head rested on his knees. It was late at night, Alec had already been in the bathroom, he was in his bed now. God, Magnus had to stop thinking about him, or he would waist the rest of his time in Indonesia with hiding from this man. Handsome man. Depressed, he got up, took place at his desk and took out his writing things. Maybe he should write something if he couldn´t face Alec to talk with him and Magnus really tried, but it just got worse with every letter. The best line he figured out were, `Alexander, I´m sorry. I can´t stand the ignorance, the silence is killing me.´ And Magnus also wasn´t brave enough to give it to him. Finally he simply left the paper on the table and went to bed. //

 

// Next day at the breakfast table, his father told Magnus it was Alec´s free day and he´d decided to spend it with Lydia. The bun Magnus had been chewing got stuck in his throat, but the stab in his chest felt worse. He excused himself and went back upstairs, he just wanted to hide under his blanket and pity himself, but he stopped in the middle of his room and looked at the bathroom door. Alec was in the city or somewhere, his room was empty. Quietly, as if someone could hear him, even if his parents were outside in the garden, he sneaked in. Some of Alec´s books and documents were spread over the desk, a few cloths tidily folded on the bed, things Alec had worn the previous days. Carefully not to destroy the order, Magnus took a light blue shirt and buried his nose in it, the smell remembered him of the kiss, it was Alec´s smell. He knew, more would just hurt him, but he needed it, so he sat on the mattress and then laid down. Alec´s body had lain there every night until now, Magnus wanted to savor the sensation before Lydia would sleep there too, he wanted Alec for himself. The pillow smelled like Alec´s hair, thick fluffy dark raven hair. He wrapped his arms around the cushion, hugged it, pressed it against his body and inhaled deeply. It made him feel safe and secure and pushed the sorrow away. “Miss you Alexander.”He sniffed into the sheets. “So much.” Later, Magnus made the bed again and went back, maybe he should distract himself and try to imagine new melodies for his music. His desk was still covered with the miserable letter attempts from last night, he read them again. “Alexander I´m sorry, I can´t stand the ignorance, the silence is killing me.” But that was not everything, there was another note, just a short one, but it was clearly visible. “See you at midnight.” Scrawly black handwriting. Alec had been in his room this morning, while Magnus had been still asleep and he wanted to meet him. ///

//Magnus met him at the breakfast table, but beside a slight `good morning´ he didn´t pay more attention to him, while Magnus was starring the whole time. He just couldn´t help. Alexander acted as always, with much charm and beauty and a lighting smile, that filling Magnus´ stomach with excited butterflies. Well, it felt more like angsty birds, he didn´t know if it was a good feeling or if he was just scared as hell. He would meet Alec and they´ll be alone and Magnus was afraid of his reaction. If he rebuked him with another rejection, Magnus won´t be able to stand straight and look him into his face, he would break. Everything was better than seeing the same irritation and displeasure in his eyes like after the kiss.Alec held Magnus in his hand, Magnus was drowning and suffering for every breath Alec gave him and the letter note was a big one. The paper weighted heavy in the pocket of his shorts, but it also felt like a secret treasure, only for Magnus´ eyes and hands, nobody could take it away, it was his. “We should go, we still have a lot of work left.” Mr. Bane said with a wink to absently seeming Magnus. In his eyes, his son was absolutely perfect, but since he brought this student with him, Magnus had changed. First, the professor had thought it would be because of this girl, Clarissa, but with the time he got unsure about that. Well, he was curious, but actually it didn´t matter as long as his son was happy, Mr. Bane was just worried, because it didn´t seem so. Magnus was more closed and often locked himself in his room and he´d even seen him withred, puffy eyes once. He just hoped his son would come and talk to him about his problems, just as always, Mr. Bane was proud of their loving relationship. Magnus´ father got up and went back to his office, while Alec made to follow him, but he stopped next to Magnus. He bent down and touched Magnus´ wrist to turn it to him and looked at the watch. “Sorry, what time is it again?”“Half past eight.” He quickly pressed the words through his lips, not to stutter, while his heartbeat increased to the one of a scared bunny.“Well, then there´s still some time left.” Alec whispered so silent, it only reached Magnus´ ears. //

/// “Later.” Alec followed Magnus´ father, while Magnus tried to stop shivering to be able to look properly at his mother again. This action from Alec was clearly a hint to the following night, Magnus couldn´t control his thoughts anymore and was so scared his Mother noticed something. She was of course very friendly, but also always curious and straight forward and Magnus didn´t know how she would react if she recognized his needy gaze. “Er…I´ll also go.” It was a feeble excuse, but his mother accepted it nodding and just turned over the page. Magnus prowled through the chilly house and stopped in front of his father´s office, but quickly went as far away as possible from it as he heard Alec´s laughing. Again he tried to write or make some music, even if he knew he was completely useless, Alec had wrecked him with four words and a simple touch. His hands had felt so big and warmon his wrist, Magnus had to imagine the whole time how they glided up to his neck and then down over his collarbones and chest and then caressed his waist and went – further. By now he didn´t even care anymore if his thoughts were sick or abnormal, if Alec continued hating him, it was useless anyways. It got late, the light faded, the shadows grew and the fear Magnus haunted because of the dinner together disappeared because Alec didn´t come. Like this he could at least concentrate enough to have a proper conversation with his parents, what had become rare since Alec had crashed into his life. He even played the piano together with his father again while they sipped alternately from their wine. The light alcohol relaxed Magnus additionally, he felt good and self-assured without being too tipsy. But time ran. With every other piano key he pressed, another second slipped through his agile fingers and he got closer to midnight. Suddenly he heard the back door, the housemaids were already gone, so it had to be Alec who came back from wherever he´d been. Reflexively Magnus gaze slipped to the grandfather clock near the book shelves, ten to twelve. “I think I´ll go to bed, I´m really tired. Love you Dad.” “Love you too, son.” Mr. Bane kissed his cheek, before Magnus left and dragged himself up the stairs to Alec´s and his rooms. Where Alec was waiting for him. //

 

// Five minutes left. Magnus stood in the scantily lit corridor and looked at himself in the mirror. He wore light blue jeans and a white shirt, his hair was messy, but he didn´t have as dark circles as always under his eyes. He tried a smile, but it seemed apprehensive and he also gave up on calming down his heartbeat, it stayed way too fast. The door to his own room was so terribly loud, Alec had to hear it, but he didn´t come through the bathroom, he let Magnus come to him. Magnus crumpled Alec´s note in his hand, while he opened the door to actual his room, there were Alec was sitting on actual his bed. Magnus froze at this good looking man. He was bent over a book, supporting his head with one hand, but looked up with his usual slight smile. “Hey, you came.” `As if I wouldn´t come, as if I am able to resist you.´ Magus wanted to say, but he just sat down on the mattress next to him and put the paper down on the sheets. “It´s midnight after all.” Magnus took a deep breath. “And I missed you.” Honesty. He´d given up on pretending to have the control over his body and thoughts and maybe the alcohol had its effect, too, but he was honest. “I thought you´d hate me.” “What gives you a reason to think so?” Alec asked and he still looked friendly, not hateful. “You…you pushed me away after I…did something stupid.” He took another shaking breath, then he felt Alec´s palm on his hand on the mattress. “Hey, Magnus, I don´t hate you. Don´t turn away, look at me.” Alec softly took his chin with thumb and index finger and made him look at him, whereupon Magnus lost the ability to breath. “I stopped, because I didn´t want you to do something you might regret, that you rushed things. And I thought you´d have a girlfriend.” “I haven´t even talked to Clary since then, I don´t think you could call that a relationship anymore. But you, you just left me alone and you ignored me and I thought you were disgusted by my kiss. I know something is wrong with me.” The first time Magnus just let it out, but it felt like the right decision and Alec still didn´t look angry, but the contrary, he had the softest expression ever on his face. “Hey, there is nothing wrong with you! I am the one who treated you rudely and I apologize. I´ve never intended to hurt you, I just wanted to make sure you know what you´re doing.” Magnus´ heart wanted to burst inside his thorax and Alec had still his fingers on his cheek. “I was the one who touched you first, remember?” Alec brushed with his thumb over Magnus´ lower lip. “And I really want to kiss you again, can I?”

Magnus was dreaming, he was sure, this couldn´t be true, it outdid his highest expectations. “Y-yes please.” Their lips met and he was thrown back to his place, there near the river in the grass, but this time he felt no hand pushing back his chest. Alec embraced him with his strong arms and pulled him onto his tights where he sat down to kiss him deeper. Magnus had never felt so right with the things he did, with the person he was with. Gently, Alec supported his back of neck when he started kissing him with tongue, Magnus was so lost, but in a really secure and protected way, he could lose himself in Alec´s arms. Something unexpected seemed to clear away between them, and, for a second, it seemed there was absolutely no difference in age anymore, just two men kissing. And even this seemed to dissolve, as Magnus began to feel, they were not even two men, just two beings feeling happy with each other. The question which sex he liked wasn´t relevant anymore. Alec slowly pulled back, even if Magnus hadn´t roughly enough. “You taste like wine. Did you have to drink to face me?” Alec lifted one eyebrow, but continued with kissing his cheek and temple. “No,” Magnus blushed, because he realized he was still sitting on Alec´s lap. “I just drank maybe half a glass with my father, not because of you!” “Oh, I don´t mind, you taste good.” Alec smiled and Magnus loved it so much, he had to kiss it again. Savoring, he leaned into his kiss and the whole movements increased until Alec slipped his hands under Magnus´ shirt, where they froze there, just like Alec´s lips. He looked quizzically at Magnus´ eyes who nodded smiling. “Take it off.” ///

 

// Information: Too rushed? Just for understanding, in the movie the student stays six weeks with the boy´s family, in this ff they´re currently in week four. I try to describe how much tension and require there is from the very first look, but it´s really better shown in the movie/book, so watch/read! And nevertheless enjoy this ff.///

 

/ Alec had seen his bare chest before, at the river or just random in the house because it was too hot for shirts, but now Alec´s fingers traced the lines of his slight muscles, followed by his lips. Magnus sat on Alec´s lap and watched him aroused kissing his skin, until Alec had reached his nipples, whereupon Magnus buried his hands reflexively in his dark wavy hair and tensed his tights. He could feel Alec´s smirk before he started sucking and licking his nipples making Magnus unawares moan. “Ah-ahh.” Abruptly, Alec supported his back and pushed him on the mattress to bend over him. Magnus was panting harder than him, even if he´d barely moved, but Alec had overwhelmed him with those touches and now he was over him, his hands right and left beside his head. Beautiful ocean-like eyes shining in the moon light. “Alexander…” Magnus sighed tempting, lolling on the sheets, asking himself where this came from. “Don´t stop.” “If you go on talking in this tone, I won´t hold back anymore.” “You did? Hold back?” “Yea…you were starring everyday with this need in your gaze, I wanted to satisfy you, to see your smile. You really have a beautiful one.” Alec answered and immediately got his smile. “See? There is it pretty boy.” He came closer to his face, but stopped, so Magnus reached into the void as he wanted to reconnect their lips and pouted. “Hey…” “Was it your first time, kissing a man?” Magnus nodded shyly. “So going further would also be your first time?” “With a man, yes.” “Are you sure you want this? Right now? You´d have to trust me unconditionally.” Alec caressed his cheek, whereupon Magnus raised also an arm to brush over the contours of Alec´s face. He´d starred at them so often, it felt like he memorized every curve by now. He wanted it to become his. Magnus was selfish, he wanted this face and this body and this man to stay with nobody but him, nobody but Magnus should be allowed to see him in this way. “I do trust you.” No break in his voice, no shake, no stutter. “I want you to make me feel good. You´ve awaken this desire inside my body and mind and I gave up on pushing it away, satisfy it.” A smile flits over Alec´s mouth as he bent down, brushed their lips together and whispered a little hoarse: “Don´t push your wishes away, promise me not to be ever ashamed of your desires or body anymore. Keep in mind that you´re perfect.” “Promise.” ///

 

// Magnus´ head was fuzzy and his stomach tingling as Alec placed his lips there and kissed pleasurably down, while tangling together the fingers of one hand with Magnus´. He opened his pants, but only dragged them down with Magnus´ consent, Alec treated him carefully and like the sensitive person he was, so he felt comfortable every second. Alec took his leg, lifted it a little and pulled the boxers up, so he had better access for kissing his inner tight. Magnus gasped and shuddered, while his goose bumps were growing and they were not the only thing. He felt himself getting harder as higher as Alec got and Alec would recognize it. The darker marks he made on his tights were beautiful hints, but he realized too late that he wouldn´t be able to wear shorts anymore. “Al-Alexander, you´re leaving bites!” “You don´t like it?” Alec smirked and looked up to him with the most innocent expression a full grown man could have. “No…just leave them there where nobody can´t see them. And get rid of this.” Magnus replied and pulled at his shirt. “Of course.” The shirt ended up next to the other cloths on the floor and his pants quickly followed. Magnus sat also up again, wrapped his arms around his strong neck and fondled through his hair while kissing him more passionately. By now, he´d become more relaxed and completely sure of what he was doing. Alec had warmed him up, relaxed him, marked him already, he felt wanted and confident, everything he needed was to become one with him. “Alexander…” Magnus couldn´t help but moaned into his mouth, he didn´t know how else to express his desires than this and nestling against Alec´s body, feeling his bulge. It let his cheeks light up in a peachy tone, full of excitement and expectation. “I didn´t expect you would be so needy.” Alec pressed him back down to the mattress, one hand on his trembling chest, caressing one nipple again. “You´re doing it on purpose, looking all cute at me with those big dark eyes that seem to contain the whole universe and then on the other hand, sounding so seductive and moving your body against mine in that way that makes me really wanting you.” “You get me, every part of me.” Magnus panted before Alec sealed his lips with more sloppy kisses. Gently, his fingers slipped into his underwear, stroking firmly down his hips to let him getting used to the feeling of someone touching there. Magnus just closed his eyes and let the feeling overwhelm him, digging his fingers into the sheets.

His lower half was burning as Alec softly started to jerk him off, pre-cum dripped on Alec´s hand, but it was the last thing that mattered since he had this beautiful mess beneath him. “Hey, pretty, why don´t you look at me?” Alec placed a kiss on his bony knee, but didn´t stop moving. “It´s…ngh…embarrassing.” “Hey,” Alec came down to him. “Didn´t I tell you not to be ashamed? Show me that wonderful expression on your face, the happy one you make when I kiss you.” “Then kiss me.” Alec kissed him gladly for a long time and whispered husky: “If you want to go on, I´ll prepare you now.” “Yea.” “Tell me if it hurts, I will stop.” Of course it was new, but Magnus only felt for a second weird, Alec was totally worshipping him with everything he could give, making it the most comfortable and good feeling first time for him. Magnus let slip his gaze from Alec´s ocean eyes from a moment to eye his naked body up. He was broad and muscular and…bigger than Magnus down there. He looked, maybe a little too, unsure at Alec, but got immediately calmed down with a smile. “It´s alright, the difficult part is already over and you did very well. Now just take a deep breath and relax your tights for me.” Magnus followed his instructions and hugged his neck, while Alec slowly and carefully trusted inside him. Magnus flinched hard and let out a suppressed scream, there was slight pain,but it felt too good, he couldn´t make a clear thought. “Walls are thin, you should behave.” Alec growled into his ear. “I-I can´t! I, y-you…” Talking wasn´t an option anymore as well, as Alec started moving and sucking on his neck at the same time. “Do you feel good? I wanna hear you.” “Yea, yea, oh god yes!” Magnus felt so much at the same time, he couldn´t compare it with anything he´d already experienced, he´d never been so close with a man, a person in general. He´d never given away the whole control over his body and feelings to somebody. Suddenly he felt something inside him bloom, a crazy driving sensation had popped up and spread in every nerve of his body, as if somebody poured hot water over him. Involuntary Magnus scratched over Alec´s back and got tensed. “W-what?” He stammered surprised and fuzzy. “Your prostate, I hit it, should I do again?” Magnus could only nod while hiding his face in Alec´s neck and crossing his feet behind his back to drag him closer. Thenceforth Alec didn´t avoid his sweetspot anymore but was constantly abusing it more forcefully. “Al-Alexander, I can´t anymore, c-can´t!” “Shht, it´s fine come for me, give everything to me.” Magnus reached his climax at the last word and collapsed, whereupon he sank weakly into the covers. This view, wrecked Magnus under him, was also enough for Alec to lose it and to come, but he quickly pulled out after and lay beside him, not to hurt Magnus with his body weight. The boy was still shivering, but looked so pleasured and heavenly happy at Alec. “You´re really having this sex glowing on your face right now.” He whispered and kissed Magnus´ cheek. Magnus just had enough strength left to snuggled up to him before he fell asleep in his arms. //

 

/// Magnus slowly opened his eyelids. He didn´t know why he had woken up, probably because of Alec, who was laying next to him on his stomach, one arm on Magnus´ chest. Magnus bit his lips as he recognized those cute white naked butt cheeks, both had seen no use in putting on cloths, but now Magnus felt a little too exposed and pulled the covers up to their waists. Carefully, not to move too much, he slipped closer to Alec until their foreheads nearly touched and brushed over his neck, before he placed a feather kiss on his neck. Suddenly he felt Alec´s arm tighten around him, so he got pressed against his chest. “I was already concerned something was wrong with you when you fell asleep so quickly.” Alec mumbled huskily, sending shivers down Magnus´ back. There was this feeling again, the fear that this all was only a dream that could dissolve every second right in front of Magnus´ face. “Is something wrong?” “Noo, I was exhausted. It just was so overwhelming, I couldn´t stand it very long, I´m sorry.” “Oh nothing to be sorry for.” Alec chuckled. “You felt so good around me.” Magnus blushed bright red, but cuddled closer, if Alec could fade away, he wanted to use every second he got with him. “Hey,” Alec lifted his chin up and stroked down the side of his body from his rips to his tights, starting little fireworks inside of Magnus´ stomach. “When we´re alone, when there´s only the two of us, I want you to call me by your name and I´ll call you by mine.” “Magnus?” He asked, a little unsure if he´d understood him right. “Alexander” Alec smiled and kissed his lips. “Magnus” Magnus got more confident and crawled on top of him, naked skin brushing against naked skin, craving to feel each other deeply connected again. “Alexander” He replied finally, while softly running down his fingers Magnus´ spine, whirl per whirl.///

 

// Magnus laid on his stomach, because his butt was not really the right place to burden his body weight on at the moment. Luckily he could stay in bed as long as he wanted, while Alec had to leave, not to seem suspicious. He was wiping off Magnus´ cum from his chest with a shirt, then got up and threw the shirt over his shoulder, on the bed. Magnus took it. He remembered how Alec had arrived at the house in this light blue fabric and how he´d watched him from the window, maybe already knowing how deep he would fall for this man. “You wore this when you came. Will you give it to me when you go?” //

 

// When Magnus woke up the next time, the sun was already high in the sky, shining brightly at his body, highlighting everything, tired muscles, dark marks, sore sinews. Alec had touched him everywhere, he felt like an opened book, everything was clearly legible for him. They´d become…lovers? Blinking he turned around to the side of the bed where Alec had slept and was really surprised about what he saw there. It was the shirt, tidily cleaned and folded. Though Alec had ignored his request from the morning, now there was a note laying on the sheets, telling `From Magnus, To Alexander´. Alec had prepared this for him so mindful, he did care about Magnus, he meant something to him, right? Alec wouldn´t just leave him alone after those remaining two and a half weeks, right? Magnus wouldn´t end up alone…right? Oh god, he had to calm down, where was this sudden angst feeling from? After he´d taken a long shower and cleared his mind a bit, he felt much better. He even put on Alec´s shirt, since he nearly had the same and his parents won´t notice the difference.//

/// “Morning.” He kissed his father and then sat down in the living room next to him, to eat the peaches he had as a breakfast. “Lunch is ready soon.” Mr. Bane said shaking his head, but with his usual friendly voice. “I´m sorry, I just didn´t feel like getting up earlier. Uhm…is Alec not with you?” “No, obviously not. He´s in the city, at the post office, picking up the letters from his family. But, can you do me a favor and bring those documents to the post, too? I forgot them.” He handed him an envelope. “Oh yea, yea sure!” His father hadn´t ever seen him leaving the house this fast. //

 

// Magnus arrived at the post office and Alec was just about to leave it and looked startled at him when he appeared in the doorframe. “Uhm, hey.” “Hey.” Magnus replied, but didn´t dare to smile, since Alec didn´t too. “What are you doing here?” “I have some letters to bring here from my father and, uhm, I wanted to see you.” “Oh.” Only now Magnus realized how pitiful he sounded, like a puppy that followed his master. “I-I´m sorry, it´s stupid, I didn´t meant to bother you, I´ll just go.” “No, hey, I´m glad you´re here, ok? Just, people can watch us. Do your work quickly, then come.” Magnus delivered the documents happily, before he followed Alec into another alley, where there were hiding in a gateway. Magnus leaned against the stone wall, Alec cupped his face, god how Magnus loved it when Alec did this so softly and made him looking deeply into his eyes. “I want to kiss you.” Magnus´ heart jumped a bit higher as Alec bent to him and pressed their lips together. Alec´s hands on his neck and waist, dragging him as close as possible, kissing him at this forbidden place. They stayed for a while like this, barely moving anything beside their lips, then Alec pulled back with a smile and whispered: “Let´s take the bikes and drive around a bit, your father won´t miss us for a while.” Magnus nodded excitedly, Alec actually really wanted to spend time with him. Beside each other they went back to the post office where they´d left their bikes, they couldn´t hold hands, but their fingers were slightly brushing against each other with every step. ///

// After they´d left the village and reached a field near the river, they left their bikes there in the grass and lay down next to them. “You´re wearing my shirt.” Alec turned to him and touched the collar. “Are you going to use this against me? Telling your parents?” His gaze got numb and his voice sounded emotionless for a second. Certainly he showed not a wink of fear, but Magnus clearly sensed what he meant. “W-what, no, no of course not! I´m not wearing this to show them, just for myself. It…still smells like you.” “Oh stop acting so cute.” Alec wrapped an arm around him and closed his eyes as if it was the most normal thing in the world, while Magnus beamed cheerfully. Dozing in the sun with the man he adored so much, he could spend every day like this. Magnus tangled their fingers together. “You´re so pale. The underside of your arm reminds me of a lizard´s belly.” “Never heard this description before.” Alec chuckled, not opening his eyes. “But I like the contrast to your caramel skin.” Magnus looked at their intertwined hands, their colors together were indeed beautiful. “Maybe we should find another place near a three, with more shadow, you look like you could get a sunburn really easily.” “Wanna lotion me?” Alec smirked and tenderly kissed his neck, Magnus´ hair straightened up at this spot and he tilted his head a bit to receive more. “You don´t regret it, do you?” “Mhh?” Magnus could just hum, leaning totally into the feeling. “That you gave the most precious thing you have to me, your innocence, your purity. You can´t just undo it.” “I wouldn´t want to `undo´ it! It was no reckless decision, I wanted it so much, I want you so much.” He answered and caught his lips. Carefully at first, afraid to do something wrong, but Alec answered his movements so mindfully, making him feel more self-assured and comfortable. Though, his pulse was still racing and his eyes were glittering when he pulled back and looked at Alec. “C-can we do it again? This night?” Unsure, he bit his lips and looked down, blushing. Instead of an answer, Alec hugged him tightly while fondling through his hair. Their bright cloths got green stains from making out in the grass.//

 

// In the evening, Magnus was more tired than he´d expected. While Alec had been working, Magnus had gone swimming, to release all the adrenaline and fuzz Alec caused inside him. He had met his physical borders there in the water, without even recognizing it, so his body was all done in by now. Nevertheless he tried to stay awake and forced his eyes open until he heard Alec in the bathroom. Naked feet on the tales, the water tap getting opened and closed and then Alec entering his room. “I thought you wait in my bed.” He whispered cheerfully and sat down on the mattress, unbuttoning his shirt. “I…I didn´t know if you want me.” “Oh don´t be stupid, look at you, how could anybody not want you?” He kissed him while slipping next to him under the thin blanket, finding his body that had waited for so long. Nearly a lifetime. Craving for someone that completed him in the way Alec did. Magnus had to break their lingering kiss for a yawn, his honey colored eyes were watering with fatigue. “Hey, you´re already this sleepy?” “Noo, I-I” “It´s ok, I should rest, too, let´s just sleep together, ok? Or would it be more comfortable if you´re by yourself?” Loving, Alec stroked away a strand of hair from his forehead and put another kiss there, he overwhelmed Magnus with this sudden tenderness. “No, stay please.” `Stay forever, don´t go after those two weeks are over, don´t leave me alone with the gap your loss will cause.´ Magnus begged in his thoughts as Alec cuddled him tight, at the same moment so softly. He´d never felt so tired, but the worst fears were haunting him, even in the arms of this man, especially there. They´d had sex, yet barely touched, barely talked, yet knew each other without any words or signs. Well, Magnus didn´t knew this much. Just that nobody else could make him feel the things Alec could with his bare appearance. By now, he wasn´t able to imagine sharing his bed with another person than him anymore, giving any other man or woman the access he´d given Alec. Even if it was dumb to open up and showing his vulnerable insides, now it was too late to go back.//

 

// Warm fingertips on his naked back, caressing down his spine, regular breath against his neck. “Hey, you, I´m sorry, but please wake up, I have to get up.” It was Alec´s sweet voice, slowly carrying him back from his dreams. “Then just go and let me sleep.” Magnus mumbled, not really master of his senses yet. “Oh, I would, but somebody is laying on top of me.” Alec chuckled at Magnus´ startled expression when he realized he was using him as a mattress. “Ah-I´m sorry.” He wanted to slip off him, but Alec held him close to his body and switched positions, so he was bent over him. “Good morning my beautiful.” He placed a soft kiss on his lips. “You have no idea how reluctantly I leave you here. It´s wasteful not to touch the beautiful body of yours only for a second. Your skin is so smooth, your lips so perfect, your laughing like a fading melody. I haven´t ever seen someone as pure and unblemished as you and I really feel like I´m not allowed to, but I want to monopolize you. Please, don´t let anybody else be with you in the way I am.” Their lips met for another longing, heavy breathing kiss. “As long as you´re with me, I don´t need anybody else.” In short, Alec was too late for the work with Mr. Bane, but pleasuring Magnus was totally worth it. He really hoped he didn´t mess this untainted, young soul up, but he couldn´t help it, this boy was really special to him. //

 

// “Magnus, I have to talk to you.” His father came to him in the evening and the first thing that rushed through Magnus´ head was Alec. Did he found out about them? They hadn´t been too carefully. “Yea, what´s wrong?” He sat down on a sofa and gulped down the slight pain he felt due it. “I see you spend a lot time with Alec, right?” Magnus nodded, unsure what he really meant. “I´m happy you two get along with each other, to be honest, I didn´t expect it, since you haven´t really found a connection with the last ones. But I´m happy, he´s a responsible young man and you can learn a lot from him, that´s why I agree with his suggestion.” “Suggestion?” Magnus asked confused, he had no idea what his father meant. “Yes, as a conclusion, Alec will spend the last week in Indonesia in the city to finish his work by himself and he asked me if you can come with him. To help him a little and because you know the surroundings. Do you want to?” Alec wanted to spend a whole week with him? Just the two of them together? The parting would only hurt more afterwards, the hole he would fall into got only wider with it, but Alec´s time was the only thing he wanted. The sweet words from the morning were still present, all those things Alec had said about him. How could Magnus reject somebody like him, especially when he felt the same? “Magnus?” His father brought him back. “Yes, er..of course I come with him, but he didn´t even asked me.” “Oh, ok, then I´m sorry for anticipating, he only told me a few hours ago. Anyhow, you have my permission.” //

 

// Later that day Magnus was half reading half dozing in the backyard, concealed by the cooling shadow of a few old trees when Alec came to him. “Hey, what are you doing?” He took place on the lounger next to him. “Nothing.” “You´re not gonna tell me? Even after we know each other now?” Magnus let his book drop into the grass and finally turned to him. “Oh I don´t know you Alexander, but that´s ok, I don´t have to know you to like you.” “But I want to know you, every part of your beautiful mind. I´m not joking around, I told you, you´re special to me.” `Acting as if he stays here with me.´ Magnus thought before he answered: “Is this the reason for asking my father about the trip? That you want me to come with you?” “Oh he already told you. I´m sorry, of course I should have asked you first, I just wanted to make sure you´d be allowed to.” Alec answered and touched his cheek. “Do you want to life with me in a little hotel in the city? Only the two of us for a week?” He said A week, not THE LAST week with the last day they would ever see each other. But it sounded like heaven. Alec´s eyes seemed so caring, as he continued caressing Magnus´ lower lip and chin with his fingers, while Magnus imagined their time together. Just him alone with Alexander, outside in the nature, having dinner in cute restaurants at night, living together in hotel room like a…couple. “You know I wouldn´t say no. I´m too easy to see through, awful.” Magnus sighed feigned and Alec was faster next to him on the lounger than he could see. This camp bed was barely made for one man, certainly not for two and Magnus protested, but without effect. “I think it´s really cute.” Alec smirked and kissed his neck. “I´m happy I won´t be alone there.” “Heyy, my father sits right around the corner!” “Yes at the terrace, at the other end of this endless wide backyard.” Alec didn´t let go of the soft skin on Magnus´ shoulder and Magnus gave up on resisting him.//

 

// Alec found him in the little attic on top of the villa after he´d searched him in vain at the whole estate. He wanted to ask joking why he was hiding there, but he noticed that Magnus was asleep on the mattress. So he just stood in the doorframe and watched this beautiful boy sleeping in front of him, his bare chest rose and sank calmly and he murmured something from time to time. He nearly seemed exhausted, as if something really heavy bothered him. Did Alec deserve such a human being? Probably not, but he would at least try to be worth his adoration. Softly, Alec sat down, touched his stomach, it felt sticky. As he bend further down and kissed him, he tasted something sweet. First he couldn´t really define it, but then he remembered, it tasted like the peaches Magnus´ father had given him once. What had Magnus done? Well, he could imagine it. Suddenly Magnus stirred in his peaceful sleep and opened his eyes, still blurred, so adorable. “Hey you.” Magnus flinched as Alec continued kissing his belly and tried to push him away. “Oh no, no need to be embarrassed, let me lick you clean.” “No, let go of me, I´m sick.” “You´re not Magnus, you´re wonderful.” Alec answered back, but Magnus seemed more upset than content at the compliment. Powerless, he leaned against Alec´s shoulder. “You hurt me, you will hurt me and I´m ok with it, but can´t you stay here while doing it? I don´t want you to leave.” Magnus´ sobs were the worst thing he´d ever heard, it was so wrong that a soul as pure as his was breaking visibly. Crying because something was happening and Magnus had no idea what it was. His mind had no idea, but his body knew so well. When he reached for Alec´s arms, his entire body spoke and that language was fear. Fear of loss, fear of time. Time that moved so cruelly fast when he spent time with Alec. “It´s ok.” Alec repeated and it was ok, because he was scared, too. The carefully kisses on his lips, eyes, fewer things were sweeter than kisses on closed eyes, especially when the person was crying. Guilty, Alec held him close to his own chest and whispered like a mantra. “Here, I´ll kiss your tears away, and we will be fine, we still have time. It´s ok, I´m still here. Now make this shoulder of mine your home and when I leave, I´ll still have your face imprinted here, I´ll remember that you lived in my arms for a while and that we were happy. It´s ok. I´ll miss you too.” //

 

 

// Things didn´t get easier for Magnus. With every touch, every time they spent tightly entwined together, the perceptible bound between them grew stronger. Consequently, the loneliness got worse when ever Alec wasn´t with him. Magnus felt useless, incomplete, cold and sometimes even lonely while Alec was hugging him from behind, breathing calmly against his back. He tried to be happy, he really tried to enjoy the little time they had left, to be thankful that he´d met him at all, but the fear of the oncoming end covered every moment like a thick blanket, ready to smother them. Sure, there were the other moments as well. When they were outside on the balcony, in the fating warmth and growing chilliness of the night, just enlightened by the shine of the moon, talking for hours as the only ones who where awake in the whole villa. The times when Magnus felt safe and secure and carefree with figuring out his sexual orientation together or just listening to one of Alec´s funny college stories. The times when Magnus realized more and more how much he felt attracted to him, how much he felt something deeply inside of him, somewhere between his stomach and his heart, in the middle of his body, there where Alec placed his soft kisses while trusting soulfully into him. It was bad, he shouldn´t let him touch this deeply on an emotional base, but he did. Magnus also sat next to him on the bus seat, on their way to the hotel in the city. His parents had brought them and their luggage to the bus stop by car, now they were standing outside, waving and smiling. Magus asked himself if they, mostly his father, had recognized something, that neither his son, nor his student still slept alone in their beds. Would it have changed his decision to let Magnus follow him, to let his son go away with his student? Probably yes. Probably not. //

// “Hey, you feel good?” Alec held his hand, hidden between their tights, and stroked it with his thumb. Magnus was looking out of the bus window, but nodded and answered: “I´m just sleepy.” “I didn´t let you sleep very long, did I? But you can stay in the hotel bed when we´re there.” “Mhh…I want to kiss you.” Alec couldn´t hide the smile Magnus´ confession gave him, since Magnus was always careful with those things. He felt that he was distanced, the treasure he´d found tried to protect himself in front of Alec. “I will kiss you as long as you need it, when we´re alone again.” Alec murmured silently, making Magnus tremble visibly. He reacted to his voice, his touches, right now he´d detached his gaze from the landscape outside and closed his eyes, leaning on Alec´s shoulder. Preferably Alec would have touched his angelic face, then pulled his body softly on his lap and embraced him to give him a warm, comfy place to sleep in his arms, but people were already watching. He wasn´t even sure if he could have done this in the US without getting rude comments from hateful people. “Hey, no, please don´t sleep. We have to check in to the hotel and I don´t know a word in Indonesian! We´re there in five minutes.” Magnus chuckled slightly something in Indonesian, the words sounded so beautiful from his lips. “What did you say?” “Nahh, it´s an Indonesian phrase, I can´t really translate it.” “I´m sure you´ve insulted me.” //

 

// As soon as the door closed behind them, Alec pressed him against the wall and finally reconnected their lips again. Smiling, Magnus wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him back, giving in for a French kiss and Alec´s hands under his shirt. “How is this possible, not being able to touch you since the morning and already being this hungry.” Alec growled, while his mouth trailed down to the boy´s neck, eventually allowed to make him his and to mark him all over. Moaning, Magnus got on his tiptoes to reach him more, whereupon Alec just grabbed his tights, lifted him up and stumbled over to the bed. More or less gently, he put him down on the fluffy mattress and bent over him, kissing him more tenderly. “I´m glad I came with you.” Magnus whispered panting.///

 

// “You should sleep now, then we can go out for dinner later. You have to show me around a little.” Magnus looked into his deep blue eyes, how could those honest eyes ever hurt him? “No, I, I´m fine! I want to be awake when you´re awake and also asleep with you together. I surely won´t waste any time.” Alec looked at him with an unreadable expression, than laid down next to him, facing the ceiling. “I don´t want you to be so desperate and unhappy when you´re with me.” “Well, I can´t help it.” Magnus answered and snuggled up to him, whereupon Alec fondled through his hair and kissed it. “This was a bad idea, it´s nothing but toxic, I´m sorry, I´m so sorry, please don´t hate me.” “I really do, I hate you sometimes, but I also love you with everything I can give, so it´s ok I think.” “Magnus, what?!” “I´m sleepy, let´s sleep a bit Alexander.” Magnus muttered and cuddled closer as the little spoon, making Alec totally defenseless. “I don´t deserve you.” “I know.” Alec had realized how deeply and well he could sleep when he was hugging Magnus´ warm body. Doubts had afflicted him for a while now, doubts about what he was doing there, doubts about what would happen after he´d left. Imagining Magnus with another man was torture, in fear somebody else couldn´t worship him like Alec did, that he would get hurt. Ironic that he did exactly the same. Behaving like a total asshole and causing Magnus unbearable anxiety of loss, but what should he do? His life was in New York, his following studies, his family, everything. On the other hand, Magnus hadn´t even finished school, lived in Indonesia and in the UK, both on the other end of the world. How should this ever work? It had started with his urge to a flirt and ended with messing up a boy´s self-image and even heart. And it also left his traces on Alec. He felt how something was changing inside of him, every time Magnus had this lovable smile on his lips or in moments like right now, when he was just sleeping and breathing in his arms. //

 

// Alec woke up and it felt cold around him, nobody to hug or cuddle with. A little confused he sat up, the morning sun already shined through the curtains. Then he heard the door and saw Magnus coming in, a tablet with breakfast on it. “What, where were you?” “Well, we slept the whole night, without dinner or something, so I brought food.” Magnus smiled, the sorrow from the last afternoon seemed like wiped away, but his words still echoed in Alec´s head. “Doesn´t matter how hungry I may be, I don´t like waking up without you.” “You can survive it.” He climbed back onto the bed with the plates and gave Alec his cup of coffee, but before Magnus could drink his, Alec cupped his face and looked him into his eyes. “Good morning wonderful boy.” Magnus´ cheeks got their peachy tone back and he placed a quick kiss on Alec´s lips. Piece by piece Magnus lost his guarded attitude and ended up in Alec´s arms, sharing deep tongue kisses. He´d decided to definitely push his fear and sorrow away and enjoy every second. He couldn´t change the unchangeable and he didn´t want Alec to hate him because of his desperate anxiety of loss, it should become a great week for both. When would Magnus met someone like Alec the next time? A man that worshipped him, that made love to him for an eternity, that seemed to know every part of him. He didn´t even know other gay people. Life was a mess, but he only had to look at Alec and this warm feeling in his stomach came back, together with that unbearable desire lingering inside of him. The need of love from this man he wouldn´t hide anymore. “I love you Alexander, I meant it yesterday and I will continue loving you when you´re gone. It´s ok, I just wanted to let you know.”//

 

// It was their last day, nevertheless, Magnus looked happy, laying in the grass with eyes closed and a smile in his face. He looked so peaceful and confident, just resting in himself. Alec still had documents to go through before he would return in the evening, but Magnus hadn´t wanted to stay inside, so he´d just taken his things out to a field near the river. It was a little difficult to work with his papers on his lap, but as long as Magnus felt content he would do anything. Guiltiness still lingered inside of him whenever he thought about this angelic boy. “I´m hungry Alec, you said you brought something?” Magnus had turned around to him, leaning his head on one hand and Alec couldn´t figure out if he wanted to seduce him or if his opened shirt and the shorts were just because of the heat. Didn´t matter, Alec was totally down for it. “Yes, your father gave me a lot before we left.” Alec searched in his backpack for a short time, then took out some peaches, of course Magnus made a face and blushed as soon as he saw them, murmuring something Indonesian that definitely sounded like an insult. Alec shook his head and walked over to him to sit down there. “I can´t help it, you know you have a lot of them in your garden right now.” He smirked and took a bite, then reached it to Magnus. The peaches from the Bane chalet were really the best he´d ever tasted, so sweet and succulent and so luscious that their juice ran down Magnus´ chin. “Don´t look at me like this!” He said with a full mouth and tried to wipe it away. “Like what?” Alec asked provocatively while laying down next to him. “As if you would attack me any second.” “Don´t you want exactly that?” Alec smirked, then softly cupped his face with his hand and kissed him. Of course his lips tasted like the peaches, just as his jaw and neck, Alec got the hungrier the lower he came.

He wanted him right now, there in the grass in the shadows of a few willows and with the silent river in their ears. Of course they´d done it all over the last days, but this right now would be their last time together, so Alec needed it to be perfect, he wanted to have Magnus in the best memory possible. His hands slid over Magnus´ body, his heart was racing and he was breathing heavily as Alec touched all his sensitive spots. Nevertheless Alec recognized something wasn´t right, Magnus didn´t react as usual. As he´d stopped without unclothing him or anything and looked up, he saw tears in his light brown eyes. Immediately he let go of him and sat up again. “Hey, what´s wrong Magnus?” Magnus just looked at him, he was sad and scared and maybe also angry, all the emotions he released hit Alec like a truck. “Magnus, what-“ “I don´t want anymore.” A tear broke free and ran down his cheek, then he got up and started walking back in the direction the hotel was. After a second of shock, Alec jumped also up and followed him. “Magnus, wait please!” Finally he could grab his arm and stop him, by then his entire face was wet. “Talk to me, what happened?” “What happened?!” Magnus was loud, but not screaming. “You happened! You were right, you messed me up, you messed me up so much, I can´t take it anymore. I thought it´s all right, but I feel how I´m dying more and more with every time I am with you. It´s too much for me.” Magnus turned around and left Alec alone. ///

 

//// Magnus´ heart pounded as fast as the one of a scared hamster while he was heading back to the city and the hotel, not looking back, just happy that Alec didn´t follow him. He had had those mood fluctuations for a while now, but right now it just was as if he exploded. Feeling Alec onto him with the certainty that it would be the last time ever in his whole life had just been too much to endure, the tears had come without any warning. Alec acted so normal, he hadn´t even lost a word about his leaving, just did everything like the previous few days, making Magnus feel so damn worthless. Though Alec had never said he would be more than a toy for the summer, sure, he´d always been gently and soft with him, but nothing more. In the meantime Magnus´ virgin heart had fallen in love very, very deep and now it was floating somewhere in pain, barely holding together anymore. In the hotel room, that already had felt like their small flat, Magnus searched together his clothes and other things to pack his traveling bag. Alec´s train would leave in less than two hours and Magnus´ bus shortly after. Preferably he would just have left without seeing Alec again, like this there at least wouldn´t be such a good bye scene that probably gave him the rest. But as if he could do such things, no, Magnus was addicted to getting messed up all over until the end. As Alec finally came back with his documents, Magnus was laying on the bed and pretended more or less to sleep, so he just filled his suitcase, too. Neither of them tried to start a conversation, Magnus was struggling with not to cry, while Alec felt guilty and distraught and unable to deal with the amount of feelings that suffocated him. ///

 

/// Alec looked at Magnus on the bed, who was clearly not sleeping but pretending to do so, and his heart clenched. He didn´t want to leave him, god, who wanted to leave such a pure, lovable boy, who wanted to throw away a wonderful romance? Alec hadn´t even dared to think about this last day in the previous weeks and now when it arrived, he´d recognized it too late. His own feelings were easy to bring under control, but Magnus was so vulnerable and also passionate at the same time, Alec was the older one, he should have thought about it before taking him so selfishly. He understood how Magnus felt, he didn´t do better either, maybe because Alec also knew it was all his fault. But how should he undo this? There was no back anymore, just the two of them and their last minutes together. “Magnus” Alec whispered while slowly coming on the bed. As he got no reaction, he just laid down next to him and put his arms around him from behind. Magnus shrugged and tried to free himself, but Alec didn´t let him go until he´d turned around to him. “Stop this, leave me alone!” He whined, while tears built up in Alec´s eyes now, too. “No, I-I can´t, Magnus listen to me, please,” He tried to wipe away the tears from Magnus´ face. “I didn´t want this, I didn´t want to hurt you, never. I´m so sorry for everything I´ve done.” “Do I mean anything to you?” He asked scared after he´d stopped fighting back and it nearly broke Alec´s heart. “Of course you mean something to me, so much. Magnus, I love you.” Magnus´ eyes widened, but it was still no sign of happiness. “Why do you leave me then? Why didn´t you talk about what will happen today? Why did you act as if we had years and not days?” He sobbed, but came closer and buried his face in Alec´s shoulder. “B-because I was coward, because I was afraid of this exact moment. Because I love you so much.” Alec held him tightly pressed against his chest, softly brushing through his hair, they just cried silently together until it was totally quiet and they had no power left. It was a strange harmony, as hopeless as relieving. “What will you do in America?” Magnus whispered against his shirt, not loosening his embrace only a little. “Finishing my work, getting my graduation, becoming a professor I guess.” “And then? Marrying a woman? Getting children? Living your life?” Magnus asked further, then finally looked at Alec´s face. His eyes were red and swollen, but he seemed clearer now. “Didn´t you think about a place for me?” ///

/// “Didn´t you think about a place for me?” Magnus asked silently, there was still so much hope in his eyes, it killed Alec. “Of course I did. Magnus, you have to know, your feelings aren´t one-sided, but I have to become a professor and you still have to start at university, you are much more than qualified. Even if everything I want is taking you with me.” Alec whispered and brushed over his soft cheek. “I love you, I mean it.” Magnus laid his palm on Alec´s hand, then kissed him slowly. He´d become so damn good at kissing, didn´t hesitate to use his tongue or to show Alec what he wanted. As Magnus stopped, he just stayed away a few centimeters from his face, looking deeply into his eyes with a certain gaze. “Then do it.” He whispered. “Do what?” All those emotions and kissing and confessing had really messed up Alec´s brain. “Take me with you, away from here.” Alec made big eyes, that was what he meant. “You know I can´t, already just because your father would kill me.” “He will only recognize when I´m already away. I want to be with you, nowhere else. I still have holidays, so it´s ok for now.” Suddenly everything sounded so easy, Alec looked at Magnus and at his smile and he wanted nothing more but having this forever. “Ok” “Ok?” “Yes, come with me, I don´t want to leave your side.” Magnus´ whole face lighted up and he immediately left Alec to grab his things. “Why, what-“ “We´ll miss our train if we don´t hurry!” Alec looked at his watch and really, Magnus was right, quickly he jumped also up and took his suitcase. Together they left the hotel after Alec had paid their room without waiting for the back money. Magnus led him through shortcuts of very small alleyways, they were running, but without letting go of each other´s hands. It nearly felt magical, Alec couldn´t remember being more excited anytime before, well, maybe only the times he´d been with Magnus. As they´d reached the station, their train was already at the rail, but luckily they weren´t too late for it. “Magnus, wait, are you really sure?” Alec had stopped in front of the door and asked one last second for Magnus´ affirmation, but actually his beaming smile was more than enough. “More than sure.” ///

/// Slowly, the train started moving, the wheels hit the rails, making the typical melodic noises. Alec could feel Magnus´ excitement next to him, his hand in Alec´s was nearly shivering. “Hey, are you ok?” “I think I´ve never been so happy.” Magnus whispered, then kissed his cheek, he could do that since they´d found a small compartment just for themselves, without any watchers. “You have to show me around in New York.” “Oh I will, promise.” Alec answered, then kissed him properly on his lips. “But, Magnus, you should really call your father when we´re at the airport. He´ll be worried when you don´t come with the bus.” Alec answered while softly brushing a strand of hair behind Magnus´ ear. “Do you think he´ll be angry?” “I don´t know, you´re his son.” “You spent more time with him the last weeks.” Magnus replied. “Well, I think he loves you a lot, your happiness is the most important thing for him. But I´m dead.” Alec giggled guiltily. “At least we´ll only see him when he comes to the US for a presentation in autumn or so, until then we have time.” Magnus answered and snuggled closer to him. Alec had recognized that he was much more relaxed since they were sitting in the wagon. “Do you have a flat by the way?” Alec chuckled. “Yea, a little apartment near my university. Just for you and me.” “I can´t wait.” Magnus smiled and leaned against Alec, who continued fondling trough his hair. ////

 

/// Later, as they arrived at the airport, they searched for a payphone, Magnus looked unsure at Alec. “It´s ok Magnus, he will understand.” With a deep breath, Magnus dialed the number and it only lasted two seconds until his father was there. “Magnus?! Where are you, you weren´t in your bus!” “Yes, Dad, I, uhm, I took the train with Alexander. I will fly with him to New York. I love him.” It stayed quiet for a long time at the other end and Alec saw how tears built already up in Magnus´ eyes. Recognizing that he had his coming out right now on a telephone, Alec stepped behind him, wrapped his arms around his waist and slowly Magnus´ hitching breath came back to normal. “I´m glad you´re safe, even if I´d prefer to know such things earlier. But for now, have a nice trip and only do what makes you happy.” “T-thank you Dad.” Magnus wiped over his face. “It´s ok son, call me again when you arrived in the US, while I talk to your mother. And I´ll come over in a few weeks. Love you Magnus, please make sure he treats you well.” “He does, love you too.” He hang up, then leaned against Alec, who hugged him just tighter. “What did he say?” “He loves me.” “Oh of course he does.” Alec smiled, then kissed him and wiped his tears of relive away.

////

 

// “I´m afraid.” Magnus whispered, leaning back against Alec´s chest. They were sitting under a tree in a park near Alec´s university and Magnus sipped on a milkshake he´d gotten addicted to after a few weeks in New York. His arrival and acclimation had gone pretty well, even after the semester holidays were over and Alec had started going to university again. Magnus read a lot, made music and also met friends he´d already found while he´d been spending time with Alec on the campus. His open, positive and kind character was just like a magnet for others and Alec had a slight feeling his lover maybe also wanted to study there. But as great as everything developed between them, today Magnus´ father would come and see them for the first time again. “Hey, you feel happy right now, don’t you?” Magnus nodded. “See, then your father will notice, don´t be so worried my dear.” Alec kissed his head, then Magnus reached his shake out to him and he took a sip from the straw. “This penetrating strawberry aroma, I don´t understand how you can drink so many of them.” “Oh be quiet, you like it when my lips taste all sugary.” He answered giggling and let Alec taste him. “We should go to the airport now, I don´t want to be late.” ///

 

/// Of course Magnus got all fidgety and nervous again as they waited at the right terminal and Alec didn´t feel better either. He tried to stay calm for him, but actually he´d already prepared for the worst. Even if Mr. Bane shouted at him, he definitely wouldn’t let Magnus go again, he had caught his luck and now he would hold it with all his might. First few people came through the doors and they got stiffer and stiffer with every other person. After an eternity, finally some sleek, black hair disappeared between the other heads and Magnus squeezed Alec´s hand tighter before he let it go and walked over to his father. Immediately Mr. Bane took his son into his arms as if he didn´t want to let him go again, he hugged him silently for a few seconds. “I´m sorry Papa.” Magnus nuzzled into his shirt, trying hard not to cry. “I didn’t want to make you sad.” “Shh, it´s fine Magnus, hey.” His father softly took his face into his hands and wiped over his wet cheeks. “I love you, that´s unchangeable. If you need to be with Alexander to feel happy right now, I understand that.” “Thank you.” Tears just came and came, Alec watched them helplessly from a little distance. “It´s something special what you two have, I know that.” Mr. Bane continued comforting him. “We will solve all the rest and your moving.” “So I don´t have to go back?” “I will miss you very much and I will visit you whenever I have a lectureship in the US, but you´re nearly adult, you can make your own decisions. Well, maybe I do have to talk a few words with Alexander first.” He answered with a smile, then they walked over to Magnus´ boyfriend. “Mr. Bane” “Alexander” They shook hands. “Nice to see you again, even if I didn´t expect it would be that soon.” Alec looked down guiltily. “I´m sorry for taking your son away, it, it just happened somehow.” He stammered, trying to find explanations. “It´s no crime that you recognized how precious Magnus is. It would be if you didn´t worship him like he deserves.” He answered in a severe voice, but Magnus could hear that his father didn´t meant it angry, he was proud how he spoke about him. “No, I care for Magnus, I would do everything for him.” “I see…let´s go eat somewhere, alright?” Mr. Bane said, then they left together. First it was strange since Alec had spent so much time as a student with his professor and now he was the partner of his son, but Magnus kept the conversation going the whole time with talking about his new home and New York and how much he liked it there.

Nevertheless, Alec was very relieved that Mr. Bane took a hotel for the night, so that they were alone again. “Today went good, no need to worry you mustn´t stay anymore, right?” “Yes, we just have to organize bringing my stuff over and finding a flat and-“ “Oh stop kidding, you know you´ll stay with me here!” Alec interrupted him and cuddled closer. “I want you to live with me, so I can protect you and steal a kiss from you every day.” He said and attacked him with his lips, making him giggling in delight. “I love you so much Alexander, of course I want to stay.” “Love you too baby, so much.”


End file.
